


the process

by schittyfic (sixtysevenlmpala)



Category: Schitt's Creek (TV) RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dan's doing a Zoom interview and Noah sucks him off, Deepthroating, Hair-pulling, Interviews, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, That's it that's the plot, Zoom - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:34:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27610751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixtysevenlmpala/pseuds/schittyfic
Summary: Noah loves how composed and professional Dan is during interviews. His answers are well-oiled but natural, and the conversation flows easily, peppered with bright laughs and just enough personal anecdotes that he’s still a real human being. It’s a joy to watch.What’d bemoreentertaining, though, is if he could make him lose that composure.Or: Noah thinks it'll be fun to get Dan all flustered by blowing him under the desk during a Zoom interview. It... doesn't go entirely as he expects.
Relationships: Dan Levy/Noah Reid
Comments: 24
Kudos: 87





	the process

**Author's Note:**

> This started as an off-hand comment and y'all KNOW WHO YOU ARE who made it into this monstrosity. (Ily though.)
> 
> Enjoy this filth.
> 
> <3

“C’mon, you’ve got thirty minutes.” Noah whispers the words into Dan’s ear, ticklish and tempting.

“Mmm-hmm,” Dan draws out. Noah’s got him pressed into the plush cushions of Dan’s couch, his lips kissed pink and his body solid and warm beneath him. It’s exactly where he wants him. But: “Exactly. I’ve got _thirty minutes_. I need to get ready.”

Noah groans and pulls back to shoot him a put-upon look. “But you look fine!”

“Wow. What a compliment,” Dan grins. “It’s not just that, anyway. I like to get into the right headspace. Mentally prepare myself.”

“It’s a Zoom interview, Daniel, not a network pitch.”

Dan surges up to kiss him, using the momentum to roll him into the back of the couch and extract himself. “Don’t mess with my process, Reid.”

Noah watches in defeat as he walks away, but admires the view. Despite his efforts, he knows Dan likes to take some time to himself before an interview - he’s not entirely sure what he does while he’s shut quietly in his room, but it seems to work. Something about sitting down and organising his mind, letting him walk into it with a relaxed confidence, ready for anything they’ll throw at him.

When he emerges a tidy twenty-seven minutes later, he’s changed his soft tee for a fancy-looking patterned shirt by a designer Noah probably can’t pronounce, but he’s amused to see him still clad in boxer-briefs from the waist down. 

“What? It’s not like they can see. I’m not about to waste good pants on a Zoom call,” Dan protests defensively, and Noah holds his hands up.

“I didn’t say a word. I actually think this is one of your best looks.”

Dan rolls his eyes good-naturedly as Noah blatantly eyes his legs, all the way down to - oh, he’s wearing fluffy socks. Noah fucking loves him.

Dan takes his seat demurely at his desk, inserts his earphones, clicks around on his laptop, adjusts his hair. Noah makes himself comfortable across the room, feet on the coffee table (there’s a scandalised noise from Dan; he doesn’t move them) and pulls out a book.

“You’re gonna stay in here?” Dan asks.

“That a problem?”

“Not if you don’t distract me. And if you keep quiet.”

“Oh, of course. I wouldn’t wanna… mess with your process.” 

It’s pitched just low enough to carry some heat, a tease of a promise. Noah lets a smirk tug at one corner of his mouth, and watches a brief flash of intrigue cross Dan’s face - but then it’s 1:00, and the journalist is right on time, and Dan snaps into Interview Mode.

The thing is, Dan’s good at this. There’s an ease with which he holds himself, chatting to whoever-it-is like they’re good friends, effortlessly warm and charming. Sometimes he might stumble across a few words, or may not be as eloquent as someone else, but there’s always this inherent composure regardless. His answers are well-oiled but natural, and the conversation flows easily, peppered with bright laughs and just enough personal anecdotes that he’s still a real human being. It’s a joy to watch, really; Noah’s paying far more attention to Dan than his book.

What’d be _more_ entertaining, though, is if he could make him lose that composure.

Casual, Noah folds the page and sets the book down, strolling slowly across the room. Dan’s eyes flick up to him, just for a second, as he relates the pros and cons of working with his Dad - then back to the screen, all easy smiles and gesticulating hands, hands-down professional. 

Noah drops to his knees. Listens for a waver in Dan’s voice - nothing. He’s got a pretty view of those long, gorgeous legs beneath the desk now, and he crawls closer, skimming his hands up from his ankles to his knees and then slowly, slowly up his thighs.

“Oh, his hair is very important to him. It’s off-limits. So of course, the second episode of our first season, I write a drip that happens in the first scene that just makes his hair… sopping wet,” Dan laughs above him, frustratingly smooth, but Noah’s gonna change that. He takes a moment to be thankful that the subject has moved on from Dan’s father before he traces both thumbs over the bulge in his briefs, surprised and pleased to find him half-hard.

Dan shifts in his chair, spreads his thighs to let Noah in closer, and responds to something Noah can’t hear: “Absolutely. I’m definitely interested in that.” He pairs it with a little nudge of his socked foot to Noah’s side, making it clear who he’s truly speaking to, and Noah bites back a laugh, taking the veiled message and leaning in to mouth at him through his briefs.

Noah’s got the upper hand here, and he intends to draw it out until Dan’s squirming. He nuzzles his face into him, breathes him in. He squeezes the meat of his thighs as he fits his mouth around his cockhead through the fabric and _sucks_ \- gentle, not enough, the way that drives him wild and makes him beg for more. Dan’s holding fast, though, launching into his ‘how did it feel to win four Emmys’ answer, with a voice smooth as treacle and an impenetrable smile.

Frowning a little, Noah tugs his briefs down just enough to release him - he’s definitely not oblivious, his cock now full and flushed and hardening with each second, but from the waist up, no one would tell. Clearly, Noah needs to try harder. 

With renewed determination, Noah teases his tongue over his slit, mapping out every vein and ridge on his shaft with his mouth as he massages his balls, pulling out every trick he knows to get him shaking. Dan’s cock twitches hard when he finally slides the tip into his mouth, but it’s the only indication he’s even registering it, his answers still perfectly free-flowing. 

It’s infuriating.

God, he can’t wait to see the facade slip. He wants to make him sweat. He wants him desperate and flustered, wants him to stammer and trail off and try to hide his little whimpers. He wants to hear his breath catch, watch his jaw go slack as he tries and fails to hide how fucking good he feels, wants him to struggle to keep it together while Noah takes him apart.

He hollows his cheeks and swirls his tongue around the head of his cock, about to tease him even further - but _oh_ , suddenly Dan’s got his hand at the back of his head and he’s casually pushing him down onto his cock - smooth and fast and he hits the back of Noah’s throat and _ohfuck_ he can’t help it, he lets out a keening moan, struggling to breathe.

“Knew I’d have to mute the mic. You’re always so _noisy_ for that.”

Noah gives a ragged gasp as Dan lets him up, but his fingers are threaded into his hair and his hand is a firm, insistent pressure on the back of his head. 

Yeah, he’s not going anywhere. 

Dan’s not looking at him, smiling sweetly at the screen and nodding, presumably listening to a drawn-out question. His free hand casually taps at his lips, hiding their movement. “Better keep quiet if you wanna play this game, babe. Don’t want everyone to hear you choking on my cock.”

Noah swallows and nods emphatically, dumbfounded at how quickly the cards had stacked against him - but was he ever playing the same fucking game to begin with?

There’s a tap of the space bar and Dan says easily, “Sorry, I don’t know how I muted myself there. You’d think I could use this by now. But, yeah, it’s really a wonderful thing to be able to tell these stories and have that be recognised and celebrated…”

He keeps talking, gesturing animatedly with his left hand while his right firmly guides Noah’s mouth back to his dick. Noah gives himself over to it; cock sliding past his lips, hand sharply tugging at his hair to guide him back again, an intoxicating push-pull. It’s slow but deliberate, and Dan gives it to him deeper and deeper until each push down has him swallowing frantically around the head of his dick.

He’s trying _so hard_ to stay quiet. The thickness of Dan’s cock effectively muffles the whimpers threatening to escape - but it’s the harsh breaths out of his nose as he tries not to choke, the slick sounds of Dan’s cock sliding past the resistance of his throat, the wet little _pop_ when he slips out of his mouth. Noah hollows his cheeks, tightening the seal of his lips around Dan’s cock to lessen the messy noises, and it makes Dan yank encouragingly at his hair, the next push firmer and more insistent. He’s making him take it. Noah fucking loves it.

Dan laughs again - he’s _laughing_ , how is that humanly possible? - he’s telling some story about Annie breaking character, or maybe it’s Catherine, or maybe it’s fucking _Chris_ , Noah’s lost track. He’s helpless and hungry for it, grinding his hand against his dick through his jeans and gulping Dan’s cock down over and over, and there’s something so fucking hot about Dan being so unaffected, even if Noah’s competitive streak is hiding in shame right now.

He has to remind himself not to moan as Dan’s pre-come bursts bitter and hot on his tongue - it’s so close, _God_ , he wants it. Instead, he grasps desperately at Dan’s thighs, trying in vain to pull him in closer, asking silently - but Dan’s immovable, his grip tight to Noah’s scalp as he completely controls the pace. Words spill easily from Dan’s mouth - polished and charming and sweet as he roughly shoves Noah’s head down, burying his cock in his throat as he _comes_ without a waver in his voice or a flicker on his face.

Noah can’t help a tiny cough, hopes the mic won’t pick it up, but he swallows everything Dan gives him, his own cock throbbing inside his jeans. He feels dazed when he pulls off, pillowing a flushed cheek on Dan’s thigh to try to catch his breath, and Dan’s fingers in his hair instantly shift from bruising to gentle. As he effortlessly bats back another predictable question, they card through his curls, petting softly, a promise that he’ll take care of him.

As soon as he’s done with this interview - he’s a professional, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Please do feel free to leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed, I love hearing from you guys.
> 
> <3


End file.
